Electric Lion Club…

Momma say: “you gotta love americana.”

Yes indeed momma. You do. And Fort Bragg knows it. And the Lion’s Club knows it. And Briana knows it. And every damn sweetheart at the Electric Festival knows it.

Misty and I are driving down Hwy 1 south out of Fort Bragg. We just finished a plate of Nachos and some pints at the North Coast Brewery. I watched two guys there put their cell phones together like competitive Gameboy, and try to expedite a file transfer from Blackberry to Blackberry. It was amazing.

Anyway, south down Hwy 1, and theres some kinda neon blazing out of the West. It’s a carnival, fronted by a Mini-Golf course, and it’s my birthday weekend. Coincidence? Definitely not. It was ride time.

They had the Demon drop renamed Super Shot, the Zipper, the Sky Swings, and some other ride mimicking hanggliders on a Merry-Go-Round platform. It was the most exciting thing since I got my Helene Curtis dryer chair with three heat cycles.

We bought 20 tickets for $20 bucks. Misty grabbed some cotton candy, and we proceeded to get dizzy. First up, Sky Swings. I’m giggling like a wisdom tooth patient video taping everything in sight in love with shaky cam and the kids are going nuts. Killer Mexican three-piece suits with hats everywhere, boots, buckles, and White-Ts. And makeup.

Zipper is a deathtrap. Misty pointed out that suspended 40′ in the air attached to a steel oval welded to a hydraulic arm and revolving on an axis locked inside a steel cage with my head smashed into my neck and knees dislocated might be dangerous. I laughed because its a really ridiculous situation to be in. Especially since its a carnival and if there’s a fire, I’m burning alive watching my thighs melt into the safety bar while the blue Pacific mocks me with its soothing coolness. But then the damn Zipper starts moving again, and you’re spun around in mulitple dimensions of the degree 360, like Space Camp should be, and it’s so hard to be scared. Unless you’re Misty.

Briana rode the Hang glider Merry-Go-Round 3 times. We joined her on the 3rd. She was pretty calm, about 7 or 8 years old, Carnival was just passing the time. I think the footage speaks for itself.

Lion’s Club gets serious applause for this thing. What a crew. Best birthday gift they could’ve presented. Except of course if the parking lot guy would’ve put down his glow wand, ripped off his safety vest, and offered me his LC Satin Jacket, Fort Bragg Chapter. That would’ve been something.